Hey Everybody! We are
only a couple weeks away from being done with our entire projects! This has
been such long but rewarding process, and I am so proud of what everyone has
accomplished. I have made a lot of progress in the past week as I reorganized
most of results and discussion section. Also, I got a lot of good feedback,
created my presentation, and wrote my script. Needless to say, I have been
pretty busy!
As I
worked on my script, I noticed that my main problem was that I had trouble
cutting my script down. Since we only have 15 minutes to deliver our
presentation, I did the math and figured out that my script should be just over
2000 words to fit it all in the time. In order to do this, I had to cut out a
lot evidence and information to make the cut. Additionally, I completely
removed the section where I provided my qualitative analysis of each theme.
This is one of the points that I would like to ask my group members about
because I feel like I had a lot of my nuance and understanding in this section,
but I thought that it would take too much time to go through each of my seven
themes one by one. My plan right now is just to talk about what themes I
identified, and then provide the quantitative analysis to prove that they were
present from my thematic analysis. From there, I was just planning to then move
onto my discussion to provide my analysis. What do you guys think about this
plan?
Anyways,
moving onto the rubric. I think that I do a solid job for row 1 with articulating
my question, method, and conclusion. Row 2, as I just mentioned, I think might
be a problem. I think that I still clearly demonstrate what data I gathered and
prove that it is valid, and then tie it to my conclusions, but I feel like I am
kind of missing the essence of my project without these qualitative results.
This is something that I am going to have to work on further to figure out if
maybe I can incorporate them in a more concise way. I think that I do a decent
job with row 3 describing how my thought processes have changed in my
conclusion, however, I may need to add a little bit more to this part because I
think some of this may have been unintentionally cut. Lastly, for row 4, I
think that my presentation might need some more work. The problem with my
presentation is that it is hard to add visual aids to what I am talking about,
besides the graphs in my results section.
Anyways, I look forward
to seeing everybody else’s presentations and scripts this week. Until next
week!
Brian,
ReplyDeleteYou have done a really good job so far but definitely have a lot to improve upon. Your script was overall very good. I feel like you need to cut down the passive voice and make it sound more natural. That will help alleviate many of the other problems with it right now. The more natural and engaging you sound, the more your audience will buy the things you are saying. I think you tend to repeat yourself a lot in the script, so you can definitely cut words there. I also feel like there a4e a few awkward parts where you do not address the obvious fact that you are going to be at BASIS giving a presentation about BASIS without even lowkey acknowledging that the "anonymous school" is BASIS. I know anonymity rules are there, so don't say BASIS but it was just kinda awkward.
For the slides, you can do way better. The font was pedestrian and drab and it was not even consistent throughout the presentation. You do not engage with the audience at all through pictures and animations. You could do a really cool schoolhouse themed presentation but you need to just change it a little to enage the audience more. I'm confident that yoy will do great!!
Hi Brian,
ReplyDeleteI thought you have done a pretty good job of cutting down your paper into your script (much better than I did). I think you would have room to explain the qualitative analysis part more if you cut down the passive voice and overly wordy sentence structure. I also liked how you repeated your purpose of your research throughout, but I think there were some places it could be cut out because you had already established it a few sentences ago (or I guess minutes before). Like I don't think you really need such an extensive overview before your discussion of what your research found and did, as you just talked about it. I think with the cutting of the awkward wording, you could have space to justify your method more because I felt that part was really weak and is really necessary to talk about. I think you could expand on your discussion also, as I felt it was vague and lacked evidence that you need to show how your research can be corroborated/explored in the future. Overall, though, I love your definitions and think you did a good job explaining literature review and results in less words.
For your slides, I agree with Max that the font and layout was really boring. I liked the pictures you did include and I think you could add more (maybe screenshots of your survey or statistics). I also thought you could maybe consolidate the themes into a table or something. I really liked the idea of including quotes, but there might be a layout slide that is more interesting to present it (quote or big idea template). Also, if you are planning to read quotes out loud, you should include or reference them in your script. You also need a slide for your discussion/main idea and one for your sources, just to end everything in an organized fashion.
I think you did a great job and with these fixes your presentation will be awesome!
BRIAAANNNNN!!!!! How's it going? Love the progress that you have made so far -- you are one step closer to finishing your project.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to your script, I agree with Max in saying that you should work on making it flow a little better to make it seem more natural. Also, I vaguely remember something about BASIS not liking people using their name in their projects so I get that you avoid talking about them but I do think it kinda hurts because you only say that the school is "great" and we're left only taking your word for it. As a remedy, I would at least try to say that school is "top 5" in the rankings, or something similar to that nature to make it more credible/significant.
Your slides are overall well done; however, there are a few in which I pointed out a couple things that could make them more perfect: such as making some a little less bare and there was one in which you are going to have to watch out and make sure the audience isn't just reading the slide (the slide with your spreadsheet on it). Thus, always be interacting with your slides even if they don't have much on them. They are not only there to help your audience but also to ultimately help you remember certain things. So keep it up!! You're almost there!